You
G'day
41 minutes
Venter
hey are you male and over 18?
40 minutes
hi
40 minutes
You
yes i am
40 minutes
Venter
ok cool
40 minutes
can you help me with something its got my head a bit confused
40 minutes
You
Sure, what's going on?
40 minutes
Venter
My ex contacted me about two weeks ago saying he wanted to be friends with me, i said no and then he was like i just want to check up on you once in a while anyway I said no even though i still love him.
39 minutes
IV JUST FOUND out that he actually has a gf why would he care to be my 'friend'??
39 minutes
You
That's interesting...
38 minutes
How long were you two together for?
38 minutes
Venter
a year and a half we broke up a year and a half ago but we hooked up this summer and we got into a huge argument and i stopped talking to him in july and 2 weeks ago he messaged me a 'joke' then went into being friends again
37 minutes
but the guy has a GF!
37 minutes
You
You said you still feel love for him...
36 minutes
Venter
yes but I'm getting over him now slowly 
36 minutes
You
so i'm curious, if he did not have a gf, would you re-connect with him?
36 minutes
Venter
I'm just really confused at the situatiom
36 minutes
if he acted maturely and said sorry probably
35 minutes
You
can i ask how old is his guy?
35 minutes
Venter
he's 20
35 minutes
You
hmmm...
35 minutes
are you younger or older than him?
34 minutes
Venter
older
34 minutes
im 21
34 minutes
You
Couple of things could be at play here...
34 minutes
One...he just wants to be friends like he said...but i'm thinking that is not very likely...
33 minutes
Or...he is not happy with this gf and probably reminisces the good old days...
32 minutes
Were you his first GF..?
32 minutes
Venter
hmmm maybe he said he wasn't in love with me but that he will always love me….
31 minutes
yes i was his first gf
31 minutes
he's only just started going out with her i dont think its been long since they have started going out
31 minutes
You
The fact that you were his "first" is of importance here. Guys are usually hung up on the first ex..specially if she is the one who breaks things off
30 minutes
Venter
i understand.. to me it feels like.. he is trying to make me jealous? i dont know.. he still has me on snap chat and i deleted him ages ago
29 minutes
You
Also, the reason i asked about the age difference is beacuse younger guys prefer a gal somewhat older than him...its a psychological thing
28 minutes
even though in your case, the age difference is negligible
28 minutes
not too big anyway
28 minutes
But coming back to your situation/your confusion...
27 minutes
My question to you would be...do you want to be "just friends" with him..?
27 minutes
Venter
im not ready to be friends with him, I'm just getting over him right now and I'm too hurt still
26 minutes
You
Who broke things off the first time?
26 minutes
Venter
me
26 minutes
You
What was the reasaon?
26 minutes
Venter
it is a very complicated thing but it was about trust
25 minutes
we broke up many times
25 minutes
You
So basically, you are unable to trust him
25 minutes
Venter
but we always got together again
25 minutes
i also was a bitch im not goon lie so it was both ways but in the end i showed him he could trust me and he started acting like a dick
24 minutes
You
The bottom-line is this then... if you don't feel you can be happy with him and if you are going to constantly worry about what he might do, then it's best to do what you are doing..cut all contact
22 minutes
In the long run, it's good for your emotional well-being
22 minutes
Venter
im not worried about me. i just want to understand what he's doing why does he still have me on snap chat why talk to me when he's got a gf (isn't that bad?)
21 minutes
You
You are still quite young, so best to move on to something better
21 minutes
Venter
would u be ok with ur partner contacting her ex?
21 minutes
You
Like i said, its not easy for a guy to move on from his first real relationship
21 minutes
I know this because i have been there...its hard to let go..
21 minutes
Venter
it is
20 minutes
hard
20 minutes
You
I am curious to know though...
20 minutes
..why have you not attempted to date anyone else?
19 minutes
Venter
well i dated a
19 minutes
guy but it didn't work out
19 minutes
and I'm just waiting for the right one to come along
18 minutes
i dont wanna force things
18 minutes
You
Smart way to think
18 minutes
Do you have hobbies/activities/interests that keep you busy?
18 minutes
Venter
yes i do. its just that i absolutely can't bare not having answers to my questions haha
17 minutes
You
Don't worry, It's human nature..we all want answers and when we dont get them it makes us go crazy
16 minutes
Venter
indeed haha
16 minutes
You
But at this point, suffice to say that he is not serious about being friends...just wants to see if you will be available as an option if things dont go ok with his ciurrent gf
15 minutes
Venter
also i saw that he liked a few pictures of girls (my type) and quote saying how u need to show how fit you are to your ex
15 minutes
You
what do you mean by your type?
15 minutes
Venter
that's bad of him, dont you think?
15 minutes
latina
14 minutes
You
i see
14 minutes
i know i shouldn't paint everyone with the same brush..but 20 year olds are not as mature as women of the same age.
13 minutes
I was once there so i know
13 minutes
Venter
yeah i suppose
13 minutes
he played it very wise and mature when he was with me haha
13 minutes
You
Is he a student?
12 minutes
Venter
yes
12 minutes
You
Another reason he should be avoided
12 minutes
Venter
he lives in an apartment tho
12 minutes
not in halls
12 minutes
and we live in different cities atm
11 minutes
You
Who pays his bills?
11 minutes
Venter
i dont know haha
11 minutes
You
Anyways...not an important detail
11 minutes
The important question is... what do YOU want from your life..?
11 minutes
Venter
a good man
10 minutes
You
LOL...You know, if i got a dollar for everytime i heard this from a woman, i'd be able to retire by now
10 minutes
Its a fair expectation...this is how women are programmed
9 minutes
Venter
haha
9 minutes
well I'm just being quick haha
9 minutes
You
Women are nurturing and caring and in return want a man who will just love her
9 minutes
Venter
someone determined
9 minutes
but men want love too
8 minutes
You
Yes...We do
8 minutes
And unfortunately, we live in a world where a lot of people (both men and women) are fake
8 minutes
I would liek to ask you this...what do you mean by someone determined?
7 minutes
Venter
someone that wants something and gets it that focuses on things that will help him grow
6 minutes
You
in other words, Someone who is constantly trying to improve his own life
6 minutes
Venter
also
5 minutes
but determination is very sexy to me
5 minutes
and I'm sure to a lot of people
5 minutes
You
Agreed
4 minutes
So... do you have any other questions(s)..? Have I been helpful?
3 minutes
Venter
yes you've been helpful thanks
1 minute
You
Cool. Have a fabulous day!
1 minute
Venter
you too! bye x
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